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At a crossroads - still trying to find THE ONE 30 Jul 2017 12:14 #1

Hello! This site is amazing. I’ve done just a little bit of searching around, and was motivated to join and write as I am at a crossroads with my current mattress.

We started out on a twin on the floor of our studio, lol. Then inherited a futon, which we did well on in our 20s. The first mattress we bought was a Simmons Beautyrest pillowtop. He thought I liked it, I thought he liked it and we kept it for over 10 years. He suffered more than I did with this choice. We are determined to get a suitable mattress this time, but we are struggling. In general, he likes a firmer, flatter bed and I like softer. He’s 230 lbs and I’m 150 in the 5’7” range. He’s mostly a side sleeper. I’m mostly a back sleeper with a little side, too. He’s easily adaptable and I am ultra-sensitive. The most important part of my value equation is my/our comfort. I won't spend $10K on a camel hair bed, but I also won't hem and haw about $800 here or there for a better deal. My best deal will be that I love my bed, not hate it. I feel fairly hopeless right now, but I’m trying to cultivate belief that there is a mattress out there that will work for me/us.

We decided on the Alpine HDM CK (C level firmness) on standard boxes at ESW. I wanted to cry after sleeping on this all night, so we switched to split A/B firmness with me taking the A side. I kept switching back and forth between A and B and while better than the C, not okay. Got a pillow top, slightly better, not okay. Changed out for the adjustable slats (softest setting), repositioned the adjustable slats, slightly better not okay. Added a 1/2” layer of foam in the mattress, still not okay. For me. He’s fine and adjusting to all of these changes. But for me, I feel like I have this constant pressure on my low to mid back. I feel like I’m on a platform only on my low to mid back. This has been the problem since the beginning. It has become less intense since trying the other things, but uncomfortable enough that I wake up stiff in the middle of the night and in the morning. At night my body is moving itself toward the center of the bed for relief. I don’t like the slats so much, because I must stay in an exact position and it still feels stiff, even though initially it was softer than the boxes. I even moved to the center on purpose several nights for relief. Their suggestion at this point is to try the Nordic 2 HDM (A firmness) with pillow top. The reason is that the Nordic will give more pressure relief. And don’t go for the Calico because it would be too drastic for my partner. Even though when trying it out before, I remember feeling like I liked the Calico.

I should ask what about the Nordic will give the pressure relief. The only thing I can think of is either the different coils or more latex. I’m doubtful that more latex will help, because as we added the pillowtop and the ½” inside the mattress, it only marginally became more comfortable to me.

So far we love the natural materials with no offgassing, are glad that we don’t sleep hot anymore, and appreciate the customer service. I just need to find something that is comfortable. It is so hard to try out in the store and say what feels okay, and then sleep on it all night and it feels terrible. There’s no way I could fathom ever ordering a bed online. I feel like I'm doing a terrible job testing it out in the store. I wonder if I’m not being honest with myself. I wonder if I’m trying out the bed and saying, eh this could work, but I really don’t like it, but I’m saying eh this could work, because I don’t believe there’s a bed that will work for me or be compatible with my partner.

We’ve been mattress shopping for 4 years now, and finally pulled the trigger on something. In that process we know we don’t like tempurpedic, we don’t like solid latex, he doesn’t like tufted tops. We’re either exchanging for a different bed or returning and sleeping on camping mats until we can figure something out.

Trying to stay hopeful. We welcome any suggestions as we go through our process.

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At a crossroads - still trying to find THE ONE 30 Jul 2017 14:37 #2

FWIW, when I was mattress shopping recently, although I did not end up purchasing either one of them, one of the mattress lines I REALLY liked was the Naturepedic EOS and EOS Pillow Top. They are pricey and you are paying a premium for the organic aspect, but if you are looking for an innercoil support system with the ability to customize comfort layers of latex and/or microcoils to suit each partner in a split Queen or King design, you may want to check it out. The cover is not tufted either. Just my two cents based on my recent experience.

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At a crossroads - still trying to find THE ONE 30 Jul 2017 18:51 #3

Hi summerkid,

Welcome to the Mattress Forum! :)

Hello! This site is amazing.


Thank you for the compliment.

Unfortunately, it's not possible to make specific suggestions or recommendations for a type of mattress from ESW for you because the first "rule" of mattress shopping is to always remember that you are the only one that can feel what you feel on a mattress and there are too many unknowns, variables, and personal preferences involved that are unique to each person to use a formula about which mattress or combination of materials and components or which type of mattress would be the best "match" for you in terms of "comfort", firmness, or PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and your own Personal preferences) or how a mattress will "feel" to you or compare to another mattress based on specs (either yours or a mattress), sleeping positions, health conditions, or "theory at a distance" that can possibly be more reliable than your own careful testing (hopefully using the testing guidelines in step 4 of the tutorial) and your personal results on your current configuration (see mattress firmness/comfort levels in post #2 here ).

As a general outline, there is some information about the many different pains/symptoms that people may experience on a mattress and some of the most common causes behind them in post #2 here that may be helpful.

Changing to the flexible slat system and finding appropriate adjustments for that system can be tricky, so I would follow the guidance offered by ESW in that area. If you’re moving toward the center of the mattress, that would tend to indicate that you desire a firmer deep alignment, as the slats meet in the center, and there is less flexing. But it could also simply be indicative that you just don’t like the flexing slat system, regardless of the comfort it provides. The moving toward the center is also curious combined with your comments that you feel the mattress is like a platform (hard) in your thoracic / low back area, yet moving toward the center of the mattress would actually make this harder overall (no flex in the area where the slats meet in the middle), so perhaps ESW would look at an adjustment of the flexible slats in this region for you. As far as the suggestion they are offering to the Nordic II HDM, this mattress has almost twice as much latex in the upper comfort layers as the Alpine II HDM, combined with an extra sect of microcoils, and I’m guessing that they are thinking that this will provide a bit more relief for the “firmness” you’re feeling in your thoracic/lumbar area (I’m not familiar with the specifications of each of their comfort levels). As some of your discomfort has been waning, it may also be that you have some learned alignment and you are slowly adjusting to a new mattress and this is getting slightly better as well.

With a bit more of a complex system like this, I would definitely work together with ESW and their suggestions, and impart as much information to them as you go through attempting to find a comfort that works best for you. I know it can be complicated when you are varying both the mattress and (potentially) the adjustable slat system. At the very least, you do have a 100 night refund policy should your purchase unfortunately not turn out as you had expected, but I’m hoping with some tweaking that you can find a comfort that you enjoy.

Phoenix
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