Hi Thelonius,
Welcome to the
Mattress Forum!
We are both 61. I'm 6'6", 320 pounds; she's 5'3" and 140. I'm a side sleeper who needs a dark, cool, quiet space and who tosses easily; she's a side sleeper mostly but sometimes makes her way onto her back and even occasionally on her stomach.
A high BMI presents special challenges and generally requires firmer materials (in the support layers especially). This could be firmer latex or innersprings (the type of support component would be a personal preference and in the right design either could be suitable) or even a zoned construction. The same overall guidelines apply with higher weights though that PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences) along with using high quality durable materials that will maintain their feel and performance for longer periods of time are the way to make the best choices. Heavier people in general will need firmer and thicker comfort layers and firmer support layers than those who are lighter and because no materials will last as long with much higher weights the quality and durability of the materials and components is even more important than normal. I wouldn't "rule out" any types of mattress and base your choices on your own personal testing.
Post #3 here
has more information and suggestions about higher BMIs that is worth reading.
As you’re considering latex, that certainly could be a good choice. Another nice option is that there are many latex systems that allow for customization on the left and right side of the mattress.
Post #2 here
has some generic guidelines for different body types and sleeping positions, the first part of
post #2 here
also has more information about couples that have a larger weight differential and
post #14 here
has more about the benefits of thicker comfort layers and thicker mattresses (most of these are in the tutorial post but I thought I'd highlight them here as well)
She used to work nights and can sleep through a tornado or earthquake. Light and most noise doesn't bother her. I've got an arthritic hip and shoulder issues as well as neuropathy; she has a lingering stress knot in her left shoulder and two very sore thumbs from years of patient respiration, plus she often takes Tylenol before bed for back pain.
I’m sorry to hear about your specific health issues

, and jealous that your wife is such a deep sleeper

.
The only specialty retailer nearby is Nest Bedding (30 minutes away) so we will go spend some time there and at least get a feel for different foam and latex and hybrid construction and their firmness options. My wife says she prefers a softer mattress -hotel mattresses usually bother her more than they bother me. I prefer a softer "feel" but recognize that I need more support than she does.
Being able to test out items in person would be the most accurate manner to determine your affinity for either an all-latex or perhaps spring/latex combination. If you do decide to visit Nest Bedding, the good news is that they off an all-latex mattress (Q3) as well as a hybrid mattress (Hybrid Latex). Hopefully these would be available for testing.
Based on all this I'm leaning to either a latex/pocketed coil hybrid or an all latex one. Because of my leg issues we need the bed to sit a certain height off the ground - higher than most - but not too tall because that made getting both into and out of the bed difficult for my wife.
One thing that you may wish to become familiar with is the edge reinforcement system that a mattress might contain, as if you are higher off of the ground it could be important to you. All-latex mattresses generally will not have as “firm” of an edge feel as a traditional innerspring product. It would be something that you may wish to pay attention to when testing.
Another "mattress review" site was given this information and the most helpful thing they said was that because of my size we should look for a thicker mattress profile - at least 12". Does that make sense to you?
You can read through some of the linked information I posted earlier in this reply about higher BMIs, but it is common that in such cases the use of thicker/firmer layers can be useful. Overall
thickness itself is more of a by-product of overall mattress design
, so I wouldn’t choose a mattress based upon a specific thickness but instead the quality of materials contained within (which if you’re considering latex, would be good quality materials).
Certain mattresses come up often in my comparison process, like the Avocado green hybrid mattress, the Brentwood Home Cedar, Zenhaven, and of course the various options from Nest. Plushbeds seems a bit pricey for a Cal King.
There are hundreds of latex mattress models available, and you may use the
forum search tool
to search for any particular product to see if it has been mentioned here previously on the forum. And many of the
site members
are very knowledgeable about latex and I feel they compete well with the
best in the industry
in terms of their quality, value, service, knowledge, and transparency.
Thanks to you I've been to mattress.net and I'm intrigued. Any helpful direction or conclusion (correct me as needed) is more than welcomed.
Mattresses.net is one of the aforementioned site members, which means I think highly of them, and they do have various offerings using all-latex, as well as latex and innerspring, which can be customized for different comforts on the left and right side, as well as choices of Dunlop or Talalay latex. If you test out some latex items locally and decide that you’d like to investigate other options, I’d suggest a detailed phone conversation with mattresses.net where you can explain your specific needs and they can then use their experience with their own products as well as other customers they’ve helped through the years to offer configurations that they feel might be appropriate for you.
When you can't test a mattress in person then the most reliable source of guidance is always a more detailed phone conversation with a knowledgeable and experienced retailer or manufacturer that has your best interests at heart and who can help "talk you through" the specifics of their mattresses and the properties and "feel" of the materials they are using (fast or slow response, resilience, firmness etc.) and the options they have available that may be the best "match" for you based on the information you provide them, any local testing you have done or mattresses you have slept on and liked or other mattresses you are considering that they are familiar with, and the "averages" of other customers that are similar to you. They will know more about "matching" their specific mattress designs, options, and firmness levels to different body types, sleeping positions, and preferences (or to other mattresses that they are familiar with) than anyone else.
Post #2 here
and
this topic
have more about the pros and cons of a local vs an online purchase.
If you come up with more specific questions after reading through this and your testing, I’ll be happy to do my best to be of assistance.
Phoenix