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At a loss...what to do next? 25 Sep 2020 05:21 #1

FYI, I also posted this question on reddit in case anyone is there too :)

My husband and I had been sleeping on an older, regular spring mattress with a memory foam topper on in for YEARS. His back pain started to become unbearable so we decided to invest in a new mattress. I did so much research and we ended up with a Purple Original (king size). My husband immediately loved it, I didn't but I gave it 2 whole months. I tossed and turned and woke up with sore shoulders and hips. It was much too firm for me. I'm 120 lbs and a side sleeper so I had a feeling it was going to be too firm for me ....it was.

So, we returned to Purple. We learned that my husband likes a firmer mattress (he's a stomach sleeper at about 180 lbs.) and I like a soft, plush feel. Because we need such different things I decided to go with the customizable latex route from SleepEZ. My side soft/plush his side med firm, both sides with a 2 inch latex topper. I immediately loved it. I was finally getting some good sleep! But....my husband has decided (3 weeks in) that he hates it. He can't get comfortable and tosses and turns. He can't explain what it is, it's not too firm and it's not too soft, it's just not "comfortable". My guess is that he just doesn't like the feel of latex. He says he likes firm but he likes to be able to sink in a little.

I have no idea where to go next. I suppose I could really do a DIY and push together a purple twin and keep my half of the sleepez. Or maybe a layer of memory foam on top of the sleepez? Send him to the guest room? (just kidding! lol).

Does anyone have any advice or ideas on what other mattress might be right for us? TIA

I will edit this post to say that we aren't against memory foam, I believe it's just not supportive enough for him as a stomach sleeper correct?

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Last edit: by Beckyhart05.

At a loss...what to do next? 27 Sep 2020 14:19 #2

Hey Beckyhart05,

Welcome to the Mattress Underground :) ! Thanks for your question.

My husband and I had been sleeping on an older, regular spring mattress with a memory foam topper on in for YEARS. His back pain started to become unbearable so we decided to invest in a new mattress. I did so much research and we ended up with a Purple Original (king size). My husband immediately loved it, I didn't but I gave it 2 whole months. I tossed and turned and woke up with sore shoulders and hips. It was much too firm for me. I'm 120 lbs and a side sleeper so I had a feeling it was going to be too firm for me ....it was.


Sorry to hear of you/ your husband's "duality" discomfort, Beckyhart05. Oftentimes, the differences in two peoples sleeping preferences/ PPP make finding a mattress that sleeps well for both a real challenge. You two are not alone; over 62% of couples sharing a mattress have personal preferences that differ from that of their partner's. For others following your research, Phoenix's article "Determining Your Personal Statistics" offers insights to how sleeping positions, body shape/ weight distribution, and preferences play a role in deciding which mattress to choose.

So, we returned to Purple. We learned that my husband likes a firmer mattress (he's a stomach sleeper at about 180 lbs.) and I like a soft, plush feel. Because we need such different things I decided to go with the customizable latex route from SleepEZ. My side soft/plush his side med firm, both sides with a 2 inch latex topper. I immediately loved it. I was finally getting some good sleep! But....my husband has decided (3 weeks in) that he hates it. He can't get comfortable and tosses and turns. He can't explain what it is, it's not too firm and it's not too soft, it's just not "comfortable". My guess is that he just doesn't like the feel of latex. He says he likes firm but he likes to be able to sink in a little.


Congrats on your new mattress purchase :) ! Thanks for supporting TMU's trusted member program by purchasing from Sleep EZ , know that they will help you resolve these comfort layering issues. I did see your post #1 "Too soft or too firm? Help please" to Sleep EZ's forum and their helpful response. Have you tried their suggestion of rearranging the comfort layers and if so, how is that working so far? Looking forward to your updates and thanks ;) .

Sensei
Sensei(@ TMU Team)
Researching for a mattress?... Be sure to read The Mattress Shopping Tutorial.
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At a loss...what to do next? 28 Sep 2020 15:15 #3

Thank you Sensei. Yes, I did try what was suggested and it was better but still not great. So, we moved the Firm layer to the top layer, which isn't really the top layer because we have a sleep ez topper on top of our mattress. This seems much better for him...I guess he really prefers if firm, lol. It's still not perfect but he's only slept on it this way for 1 night so far so we're going to give it more time. Now we're searching for a good pillow for him. It's always something :)

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At a loss...what to do next? 01 Oct 2020 07:06 #4

I think there is a ratio of height between a bed and a pillow. The firmer the bed, the less it absorbs your shoulders and the higher the pillow needs to be. Inversely, the softer the mattress, the most you sink in and the thinner pillow you need to feel comfortable.

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